A Pause For Reflection

It has been a couple of days since I made an entry here, and I'm thinking that four blogs is perhaps too much to maintain with any regularity. My attention has also been distracted from my purpose here, in the first part of this week, by a deadline for my podcast, "The Art of Outrage" on Artscene Visual Radio. That in itself has taken a good deal of my time.

But, truthfully, there's something else at stake here. Things have not been going as well as I had hoped. Weight-wise, I mean. I last stepped on the scale on Sunday, I think, and there has not been significant change since the first week of this project. And my good intentions for the use of consciousness to keep things in check have been slipping. I'm slowly getting back to the old, comfortable but essentially mindless habits. When pressures mount, clearly, it's easier to resort to old habits than to be constantly mindful. And currently, along with the four blogs and the podcast, I have two full-length books to read and respond to, I have the IRS to satisfy, and a lecture to prepare for. The latter is not until June, but it's already on my mind. All of which sound like excellent excuses. And they are.

There's another factor at play: I'm a creature of habit, and my meals follow much the same pattern day to day, week to week. I get bored with hearing myself repeat that I had a cup of tea with milk and sweetener at seven in the morning and a bowl of porridge with nuts and dried fruit at nine. Still, I need to recognize that boredom is yet another way of burying precisely that awareness I claim to be trying to maintain. It's not exactly exhilarating to return every day to my meditation practice, but I do it anyway. It works.

So anyway, let's consider this a pep talk to self. It's worth the effort to continue. I'm thinking about adding some "new rules" to the game. A few more ways to eat well, practice mindfulness, and shed a little of that excess weight at the same time. Enough for today.