OKAY...

... we seem to be working. So, to begin: I write this for myself, not expecting any readers or responses. Let's call it a diary. Having stepped on the bathroom scale this morning and discovering that my weight is greater than ever before in my entire life, I need to do something serious about it. I believe this journal will help.

First, the facts, to hide nothing (from myself!)

Weight as of this morning, 8/6/17: 197.5 lbs.
Height: 5 feet 10 1/2 inches (though I may have lost a little height with age)
Age as of last Tuesday, August 1: 81 years
Average/normal weight over the past few months: 192
Acceptable weight: 185 lbs.
Desirable weight: 180 lbs.
Exercise program: Average, past several months--1 hour, 2 - 3 times per week at the gym (I kid myself that it's more)

I have been struggling--but obviously not hard enough, nor with sufficient clarity of intention. I have acquired the weight gradually, over the past ten years. The past year has seen the greatest gain.

I am uncomfortable with the weight. I eat and drink more than my body needs, at my age. I realize that my body does not need alcohol, but my drinking habits tend to accelerate. I gave up all alcohol for a couple of months earlier this year. In the past, this has helped me lose weight, sometimes dramatically. I used to be able to shed 5 pounds or more effortlessly when I quit drinking. This time, it seemed to make no difference, so I started up again. Recently, I have indulged not only a shot (or two!) of vodka before dinner, but also a glass (or two, or three!) at dinner time.

As noted above, I eat more than my body needs. In part I attribute this to distraction: I read the newspaper or watch TV over meals, and therefore hardly notice what I'm shoveling into my mouth. In part, it's sheer comfort. Until digestion time. Then it's discomfort. At night, I feel the weight on me. For weeks I have been exhorting great attention to what I eat and drink. For months I have been ignoring my own wisdom.

I intend to use this diary as a record of what goes into my mouth, as well as a record of my thoughts along the way. I believe that writing down what I eat, as an act of consciousness, will in itself be helpful.

This month, with a few weeks ahead of me with less stress and tension (I hope!) in daily life, presents me with an excellent opportunity to put into practice what I preach to myself.

Today, Sunday, August 6:

At 7AM, my usual cup of English tea--with my usual three spoons of sugar. (I can cut back here, even cut out the sugar.)

At 8:30 AM, before sangha, a small bowl of mixed fresh fruits and the second half of a scone I started yesterday (with butter.)

At 11:00AM, after sangha, one poached egg and one toasted English muffin, with butter (no jam, no marmalade. Coffee with milk but no sugar and no sweetener.)

I write these notes between 12:30 and 1:00PM. Will return and catch up on the rest of the day tomorrow.